Getting Past a Nasty Spat
In relationships, fighting is inevitable. Some would even say that if you aren’t fighting with your partner occasionally, you’re doing something wrong and your relationship lacks passion. While that may or may not be an exaggeration, for the majority of couples, fights are just par for the course. Fights are rarely if ever fun, but since they do happen, it’s important to know how to deal with them and not let them ruin an otherwise happy relationship.
The most important thing to remember when it comes to fighting in relationships is to control your temper. Obviously, this is easier said than done. If controlling ones temper was easy, there’d be a lot more happy couples and a lot less fights. Sometimes, tempers boiling over are inevitable.
When our tempers do get the best of us, being able to realize when you’ve crossed a line and when you need to apologize is vital.
Too many people get into fights, say or do things that they regret, but refuse to apologize out of stubborn pride. If you say something needlessly hurtful to your partner, it’s important to acknowledge it and let them know that you feel bad about doing it. If you let these kinds of things fester, they will surely bring down your relationship. Maybe not immediately, but negative feelings do have a nasty way of building up over time.
Along the same lines, knowing how to accept an apology is also a useful skill for surviving fights. In the heat of an argument, it can be tempting to throw your partner’s apology back in their face or make them feel like their apology isn’t good enough. In the end, this will only make them resent you. Its okay to need cooldown time after getting angry, but once your head is in a better place, do your best to stay open to apologies. Don’t underestimate the power of forgiveness – it can easily make or break a relationship.
One classic piece of advice for fighting couples is to “never go to bed angry.
” The reason for this is that if you just throw up your hands and give up on a problem for the night, chances are it’ll just fall by the wayside and never really be addressed. This will almost inevitably lead to problems down the road, particularly if the same problem keeps cropping up. That said, sometimes you can’t solve a problem without sleeping on it – so the real takeaway here is that if you do go to bed angry, make sure to get some closure before too much time has passed.
Hopefully these tips will help make your next fight a little more bearable and your resolutions more successful. Good luck!